I think one of the biggest mistakes parents make in raising their children is that they give up once it becomes difficult. My husband has always told me, "You get what you tolerate." Translated means, "Don't complain. Do something about it." This was definitely true when they were little, but it was also true as they grew up to be teenagers.
In the age of "tolerance" we are told by society to tolerate what is unusual or anything unlike ourselves. In the meantime, we have taken this to be tolerant to everything and no longer take a stand for what is wrong.
- 1.the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with."the tolerance of corruption"
I believe that parents have just begun to tolerate their teens. They accept that their behavior and opinions are not in agreement with theirs. Period. But they don't do anything about this behavior. We as parents have the power to have certain expectations of our teens as long as we are still supporting them. So if we support them through college, then we can have certain expectations until they support themselves at 21, 22, or 23 years old.
You may remember arguments with your own parents ( or maybe arguments on TV) that began, "As long as you are under my roof, young lady,....." This meant, "As long as I am still supporting you....certain expectations must be met."
Parents today want children that can think for themselves and figure out the world on their own but they don't give them the tools to do this. Of course we all want our children to think for themselves and become independent. But we need to mold their character while we still can.
What expectations have you given up on? Purity? Curfew? Modesty? Respect for you (or elders)? Chores? Going to church with the family? Having dinner with the family?
If you don't expect anything from your teens, who will?
Be the parent! And don't forget to give them hugs.
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